The Death of a Leader

 

No, it is not a person who died, far from it! It is about my ability to be a great leader in my company dying. We often see it. We see leaders who are enthusiastic, energetic and successful gradually becoming disillusioned, loosing their energy and focus, and start fading, becoming just another manager, and not a very good one at that.

What causes this to happen? Dr Henry Cloud, clinical psychologist, leadership consultant and author, came up with a name for the problem: “The death spiral of a leader”.

The starting point of the death spiral is found in the culture of the company, the way employees are working, etc. People on the team have a negative attitude. There is silo working outside the team. Employees and managers are focused on their own agenda and not the team goals. There is division amongst team members. Some employees and managers are always playing the victim, blaming others for their short-comings. But here is the important question a leader has to ask him- or her self: “Who is allowing this to happen?”

The spiral starts when leaders loose their ability to be in charge of themselves. Being in charge of yourself is most probably the most difficult thing for any leader to do. They tend to loose control of themselves. They start believing that they can’t, instead of believing that they can.

Dr Cloud says that all leaders believe that they can achieve what they want to when they start out. But something happens and they loose that belief. As soon as this happens, they become out of control and the downward spiral starts. The reason this happens is found in the brain, in the way it is wired. Dr Cloud talks about the 3 Ps, the things that happen in the brain which allows the continued downward spiral.

P1: Personal – The brain sees that things are not going as planned, and responds by making it personal. “I am not good enough to make it happen”. Because something is wrong or not working out as planned, it has to be ME. There is something wrong with ME.

P2: Pervasive – Instead of me not being good enough for one thing, it becomes EVERYTHING in the mind. The examples given by Dr Cloud include:

All my customers don’t like me

All of my co-workers don’t like the way I lead

I am not good enough to achieve anything (I added that!)

P3: Permanent – The brain then creates the overwhelming thought that this is the way it will always be. And the once enthusiastic leader is no more.

This is scary stuff! But can we reverse the 3Ps? Dr Cloud says that indeed we can!

Step 1: Log and dispute the negative thoughts. Look for what is false in these thoughts. Not everybody dislikes you; you are not bad at everything!

Write down why it is not pervasive. Look for things that show that not everybody feels that way about you. Look for things that went well and were successful. Write down some of the good things going on. It disputes the pervasiveness factor.

Write down why it is not permanent. Create a vision of what a positive future for you as a leader might look like. And believe that it is possible. If you have a spiritual believe system it can help here. If you are a Christian, what promises are there for your future in the Bible, etc.

STEP 2: Log what you can control and what you cannot control. Start doing what you can. Even if it is something small, do it. Keep on doing what you can, and it becomes a positive habit.

Step 3: Connect with others. As Dr Cloud says: “The opposite of bad is love, not good”. It is about building relationships. We can solve problems together. Discuss with others how the problems can be solved.

Start using “We will find a way”, especially if you do not know all the answers. Leaders are able to admit, to themselves and to others, that they do not know all the answers.

Think about that culture that you would like to see in your organization or company. It is important to realize that you are “ridiculously in charge”. It means that are completely in charge. You can change anything to be like you would like it to be. You can do something about:

That person who has a negative attitude on your team

That person or group operating in a silo outside the team

That manager who is only focused on her own agenda and not the team goals

Those who cause a division in the team

That person who is always the victim therefore cannot perform as they should

Etc.

You are in charge. You determine what the company culture will look like, and thus what people will do and what not. It is common knowledge that leadership creates culture in the organization. If you are finding yourself in the death spiral of leadership, start doing what you have to do, so that you can reverse it. Reverse the 3Ps before it does too much damage!

Feel free to send me an e-mail at koosgouws10@gmail.com, or leave a comment below. You are also welcome to visit our website at www.sheqmanagementsystem.co.za.

Happy leading!

Koos